What is a divided heart? According to Google, “a state of being divided in loyalty or affection, particularly in a spiritual or moral context. It suggests lack of complete devotion to one master or purpose, often describing the conflict experienced when attempting to serve God and worldly desires simultaneously.”
Reading the Old Testament, I am struck by how often God reprimanded and punished His people for having a divided heart. As I read of their grumbling, (hello, manna from heaven!) and complaining, (Did you bring us out here only to die?), and their impatience, (Moses has been gone a long time, let’s make idols to worship,) I can’t believe those who saw and lived miracle after miracle would become so fickle.
Until I examine my own life.
I have never eaten manna from heaven, but God has always provided what I needed. Materially, emotionally, spiritually.
I too, have whined when I could not fathom how challenging life had become, only to now realize that in the midst of my challenges. He was holding me all along.
Those times I felt like He was taking f-o-r-e-v-e-r, He was growing me in the wait.
I might look at the Israelites with a shaking head, but I must admit they did nothing I myself haven’t done. And others around me are watching. They know I attend church. They see my Bible verse keychain and phone case. When I consider my life, I realize I too, have had that divided heart.
Yes, I love God and want to serve Him all the days of my life.
Yes, I get distracted like a toddler by the shiny things of this world and I need God to remind me to keep my eyes focused on Him.
We are encouraged in Hebrews 12:1-2a, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, focusing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith.” (NIV)
As I take a deep breath and consider my next steps, I recall how He has never abandoned me, nor forsaken me, He has never left me in my mess, as I probably would have if I were in His shoes. No, He is happy when I recognize my divided heart and wonder how to fix it.
He beckons to me to ask for His help, and like a loving Father, is happy when I discover my folly for myself.
Maybe you, like me, find yourself in the same boat of a divided heart from time to time.
It’s frustrating.
It’s infuriating.
But it’s not a state that must last forever.
God Himself is happy to help us focus our hearts when we ask for His help. Let’s ask Him together for just that.
Prayer:Dear Lord, You know. You knew before I recognized my heart status. Wow. Please forgive me. Lord, I don’t like what I see, and somehow climbing out of this pit is harder that I would have thought. Please help me day by day to focus more on You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.