My gaze landed, then lingered. My thoughts raced.
She was beautiful.
She wore the perfect outfit.
She was twenty years younger.
For half a second I missed my twenties. I missed feeling carefree. I missed the game of piecing together the perfect outfit for going out, the escapades with single friends, the wonder of who I might meet today.
Then I recalled my inner dialogue from that decade: the self-doubt over new roles, new career, and new relationships.
The concern: will I ever find a soulmate who honors God?
The fear: what if I picked the wrong career?
The terror: what if I mess up my child?
A decade, or, ahem, two later, here’s what I learned in answering those questions:
- Oh, he was out there.
- Go where God leads, He’ll change course when necessary.
- Yes, you will make parenting mistakes, but God’s grace is sufficient for that too!
No matter what age or stage we are today, Psalm 139 has encouraging truth for us: “For it was You who created my inner parts. You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will praise You because I have been remarkably made. Your works are wonderful and I know this very well.” (Psalm 139: 13-14 HCSB)
“Your eyes saw me when I was formless, all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began.” (Psalm 139:16 HCSB)
If somedays we feel like a hot mess, that’s okay. But let’s not let those feelings define us. God created you and me. We are remarkably made. God claimed us, authoring our days before they began.
Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us He is still working, authoring each moment of our lives. Sure, we still make mistakes. We never attain perfection: physical, emotional, or spiritual. We learn to place our hope in Him. He is God. His mercies are new every morning!
Even when we have no clue, He knows exactly where He is leading us. we can resolutely follow Him. He promises to redeem that hot mess and even bring good from it!
If my gaze landed on the yearnings of yesteryear and didn’t budge, I would miss connecting the dots to see God’s purpose, plans, and promises. I might wrongly assume I missed what He had for me. Or that there’s no hope now.
But then I would limit my own faith growth. I would wallow in disappointment and despair.
No, when I’m reminded of back then, I pray for those twenty-somethings to find reassurance and affirmation in God’s plan. Then I thank God for investing in and growing me. And, that He hasn’t given up on me! He does know the plans He has for you and for me, plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans for a future with a hope!
Let’s not look back at crossroads wondering, what if? Let’s fix our eyes on Jesus, asking Him to direct our next steps. He is the author and perfecter not only of our faith, but of our lives.
Prayer: Dear Lord, thank You for what You’ve done in my history and for what You are doing in my life today. You know where I am, and what You have for me. Help me acknowledge and appreciate how You’ve grown me and trust You with tomorrow. In Jesus’ name, amen.