One day I opened my eyes and had a stunning realization: I was terribly wrong in how I had handled a hurt. I had been terribly wounded, but then I had in turn wounded another. Unfortunately, it was not a once and done thing, but something that had endured for years.
Oh, how my heart ached to question how I must have harmed another without even realizing. I wondered how God could look at me with the deep love I had always felt from Him.
I immediately apologized to both the other party and God, but given the length of the offense, a few simple heartfelt words hardly seemed enough. How does one make amends for years of wrongdoing?
Isaiah 54 comforted like never before.
Verse two tells me to prepare for more. Even though I can’t yet see any reason to rejoice or celebrate, or evidence that my blessings will grow, I need to prepare in faith for more. I must trust God isn’t done with me yet, and will bless my obedience. I must prepare my heart and my life to accept (and rejoice over) more.
The end of verse three and all of four remind me not to dwell on the past. Even if my past is long, and littered with a multitude of mistakes. God is not shaming me. I should not shame myself, even in thought.
In verses eleven and twelve He reassures: No matter the mess I’ve made, God will make amends. He promises my shambles will be beautifully rebuilt. I can’t fathom His love, or miracle working, but God will make it alright.
God promises His compassion, kindness, and His unfailing love to me, and to you. If you’re like me, and all too human, I put constraints and pressure on myself. I knew better, I agonize. I can’t believe I did this, I lament. How can God forgive me for this? I question in astonishment.
Yet, He does.
He authored grace. And He freely gifts us grace.
We can’t turn back time. Yet we can decide how we want to live today. And tomorrow. And next week.
As we grow in faith, we learn and understand both His promises and how to claim them. How to ask for more help, and how to be assured He won’t forsake us.
I have learned that His promises are true. Even when I feel like they shouldn’t be true for me. He isn’t shaming. He isn’t condemning. He wants me to ‘go and sin no more.’ (John 7:14)
He knows I struggle more on some days than others. But He also offers help if I only ask. Maybe you, like me, sometimes forget that we are allowed to ask. That all those promises are meant for you and for me. We only need to request. Let’s do just that.
Prayer: Dear Lord, You know my past. You also know my heart and how terrible I feel. Now that I see so much more clearly, please Lord, help me operate from Your love and with Your grace. Help me make amends. Then help me live in Your forgiveness, extending that grace and forgiveness to others. Thank You for these things, In Jesus’s name, Amen.
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