The call came in: “Get to Pittsburgh Children’s Hospital- that’s where they’re life-flighting her.”
Our healthy ten-year-old had just been diagnosed with Type I diabetes, and she was in diabetic ketoacidosis. This was a life-threatening emergency!
While en route on the 200 mile trip, I tried to process this life-altering diagnosis. As a nurse, I knew a bit. Enough to know her life had just changed forever. Every day she would need to monitor sugars and carbs, every time she ate she would first need an insulin injection.
Oh God, not my baby!
What would her future hold? The initial nights after she returned home included awakenings at midnight and 3 am for blood sugar checks. We had to constantly fight to keep her blood sugar high enough. This roller-blading, fun-loving girl hardly had energy for anything. Her teasing nature and constant smile had been replaced by a permanent look of terror. She refused to leave my side. She believed I would keep her safe.
Fear coursed through me constantly. I would awake in the middle of the night, my first thought to run in her room and check on her. If she went too low, she could slip into a coma or worse.
Maybe you know that type of fear. A fear you can’t stop, control, or ever corral.
Scripture tells us to ‘fear not,’ or ‘do not be afraid’ over one hundred times. Do you know what we are told to fear?
God.
“Fear God” means reverence to God alone. As in, do not fear anyone or anything else.
We can fear God because He is ultimately in control. Whatever crisis is spinning out of control, emergency is whirling like the blades of a helicopter, and deafening noise is smothering the soul, we must fight fear. We must “Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
As I approach this blank canvas of 2020, this I do know:
God sees.
God hears.
God knows.
He loves.
He comforts.
He acts.
He doesn’t always act as I would author, but, He does act. He only allows what will ultimately benefit me, and my loved ones; even when I can’t currently see it.
And, I have learned I can trust His choices.
Today, our daughter is a thriving twelve-year-old. She counts carbs, measures her food, and gives herself insulin injections before she eats. Her biggest concerns are learning her music for the church worship team and logging in enough time with her two guinea pigs. And yes, she clips around the block of her roller blades!
There are times when I worry about her affording her insulin as an adult. Or, what if she ends up living alone, with no one to help her when she’s sick?
Yet, I am learning to trust God with tomorrow.
He’s God.
He’s got even this.
He has always kept His promise: He has never left me nor forsaken me- no matter what this world might deal.
No, I have God. I don’t need to be afraid.
Psalm 31:19-20 reminds me, “How great is Your goodness that You have stored up for those who fear You and accomplished in the sight of everyone for those who take refuge in You. You hide them in the protection of Your presence; You conceal them in a shelter from the schemes of men, from the quarrelsome tongues.”
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You that I don’t need to live in fear. No. Matter. What. Please remind me of this fact, regardless what this day, or even this year may bring. Regardless of events, I am indeed protected in Your presence. Remind me to shelter in You through life’s storms. Allow my inner voice and self-talk not to be like a quarrelsome tongue, but to speak Your truth. May I learn to rest in You. May I live trusting You with tomorrow. Thank you for being God. In Jesus’ name, Amen.