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When Community is Hard

Posted on August 9, 2024August 8, 2024 by stefanielynn3@gmail.com

Are you lonely? Moving five times in our first decade of marriage, I was often lonely as we started anew in a different city, sometimes even a new state.

Then came our long-term community. We were so excited to stay put! But then our community crumbled.  Differences split believers. Battle lines were drawn. Hearts broke. Spirits fell. For some, faith shattered.

Why did God create us for community when people are… well, human?

They make mistakes.

They hurt others.

Sometimes, they don’t mimic their Father.

It’s enough to drive some away from people, from the church, from Christ.

First, our faith is in God, our salvation is through Christ. Just as you wouldn’t allow a case of food poisoning to drive you to avoid all food again, we should not allow others’ words or actions to determine our faith.

Second, as tempting as it can be, we should not try to shelter ourselves by living as hermits. God created us for community. He created us first to need Him. He also created us to need each other. Now, we need to practice discernment in who we let in as our closest confidants, but we were created for these personalized connections. 

Ecclesiastes 4:12 tells us “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”  

The cord includes God and me, but also others. It’s not just God and me.

Have you been deeply hurt by those who proclaim Christ?

If you’ve lived just a little, you’re probably here in the boat of sadness and frustration beside me. If the wounds are fresh, the ‘easy’ way is to just cling to God and no one else. 

But that isn’t His design.

He wants to hold our hurts.

He wants to heal our hearts.

And, He wants to restore us to a beautiful community in Christ- a community that lifts each other up, teaches each their valuable truths, and does this tough life together, even when we occasionally get something wrong.

When hurts happen,

When Christians don’t act Christ-like,

It’s time to ask for His help,

His discernment, 

His forgiveness.

Sometimes His discernment leads us to forgive and restore the relationship. Sometimes we’re called to forgive and then politely move on.

Either way, we shouldn’t isolate ourselves. In John 10:10, Jesus is calling us to a full and abundant life. And that life includes community.

Sometimes that’s hard. But He is happy to help us with just that, when we ask.


Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, You know the hurt, the heartache, the humility I need to open myself to Your children again. I also know I’m not perfect either. Forgive me, when I hurt others. Please convict my heart so I can go to them and ask their forgiveness. God, please help us to be more like the community You envisioned when You created us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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