Have you ever been verbally assaulted?
Maybe you were frozen in shock.
Maybe you couldn’t excuse the behavior but could offer a little grace, like, “she’s crazy stressed and doesn’t realize how awful those words are.”
Maybe, like me, you desperately wanted to defend yourself, or call the person out, but took a deep breath and held it in.
Not to be nice. Not to be an angel, (I’m not!)
But because 1) I knew the circumstances were extenuating, and 2) honestly, as much as I wanted to deny it, given the wrong scenario, it could have been me spewing those words.
Lord knows what can go through my head when I am tired or stressed. I want to think I am incapable of terrible things. But given the wrong circumstances, I am not so sure.
What I am certain of, is that my heart needs to pray the words of David in such a scene, “Set a guard over my mouth, Lord, keep watch over the door of my lips. Do not let my heart be drawn to what is evil so that I take part in evil deeds.” (Psalm 141:3-4a, NIV)
There are times I can not trust myself to shut my mouth or hold my tongue. As I experience life, I am slightly better at it, but I have learned some of my weaknesses. And I am sure the enemy has too.
This is why it is so important I stay in Scripture most everyday. There is power in the Word!
I can weave Psalm 141 into a heartfelt prayer, and trust God to help me.
Even with something as seemingly simple as holding my tongue and closing my mouth. (Or miraculous, depending on the situation!)
God knows our hearts. He knows we want to obey.
He also knows our hurts. He knows when we want to defend.
He knows what hinders. He knows when the hurts override obedience.
And He loves us even at that very moment.
He wants to help us.
He wants to protect us from ourselves.
But He’s awaiting an invitation. He is waiting for us to ask for His help. Sometimes that means waiting for us to reach the end of ourselves and realize we really do need His assistance because there’s no way I can do this myself.
He’s patient. He will wait until we have fumbled and fought and are fed-up with it all. He will wait until we meekly cry out, please help me.
Then He will arrive, and help and comfort, all the while somehow weaving it all for good.
No idea how. But that’s okay. He’s God.
If you’re like me, words mean something. It is truly my heart’s desire that the words I speak encourage and build others up in faith and spirit. But there are moments I fail. There are moments it is much better I pray David’s words then say my own.
God knows. And He wants to help us. Will you join me in asking Him for just that?
Prayer: Dear Lord, You know. You know my heart. You know my hurt. You know when my tongue could precede my obedience. Please close my lips, and set a guard over my mouth. In Jesus’ name, amen.