I had been asked to do something beyond my experience. And yet it served a purpose close to my heart. I was excited and terrified at the same time. True ambivalence coursed through me as I contemplated the how’s of this endeavor.
Several thoughts of doubt filtered through my mind. I could hear a jeering echo inside my head. There’s no way I can possibly do this.
Maybe you, too, have heard that voice. Maybe you, too, know the fear of trying to do what you are called to accomplish but you feel woefully equipped.
Nehemiah knew those exact feelings. He was a cupbearer to the king. While he had access to the king who might help him, he did not possess the authority to request such assistance. He was a foreigner, a captive, a displaced Jew who simply wanted to obey God, do his job, and live another day.
We read in Nehemiah 2:2 that Nehemiah was very much afraid. Yet, God used this king’s perceptiveness to discern something was on Nehemiah’s heart. This King was curious what the matter was and outright asked Nehemiah to divulge his feelings.
After praying to God (verse 4) he admitted his burden. The King stepped up to help and later in verse 20, when Nehemiah is standing at the ruins of the wall of Jerusalem, he is again in the presence of authorities looming much more powerful than he. But this time, his fear was not as palatable in his demeanor. Instead, he voiced, “The God of heaven will give us success.” He knew it was not his own abilities that would accomplish anything. It was only through God that this work would be finished.
The wisdom, faith and courage of Nehemiah from all those years ago can teach us this truth today: It is God who accomplishes our tasks. Whether those tasks are large or small, it is God, not me, who accomplishes them all.
When fear whispers in our ear or shouts through enemies that I am not good enough, strong enough, or smart enough, I should answer, “No, I’m not. But God certainly is.”
And I should work on developing a faith that learns to trust He will show up and provide whatever is needed to accomplish what He has called me to do. Sometimes, He needs to provide practical things, like letters to dignitaries for safety or supply physical materials. Sometimes, He needs to bolster faith and trust and perseverance. Whatever the need is, we can trust Him to supply it.
If you, like me, sometimes struggle against fear while doing hard things, will you join me in praying to God for help trusting in His provision?
Prayer: Dear Lord, You know what You have called me to do. And You know the obstacles in my way. Please provide whatever is needed and provide the necessary heart inside me to grow my faith in You. I want to wholeheartedly trust You to supply all the needs to accomplish this task. In Jesus’ name, amen.